Paris's Actor Crushes (In no particular order)
Edward Norton - I like Edward Norton not because of the versatility of the characters he plays, but because he pretty much always plays the same kind of guy, but he does it VERY WELL and not derivatively at all like some Meg Ryan's. Norton's character is always sorta smarmy, on the wrong side of the law, maybe a bit insane but there's a heart of gold in there, and that's the way I like it. I think America's got a bit of an obsession with anti-heroes, and doesn't Eddie over here, all scrawny and fast-talking and probably high, fit the bill so well? He is a thrill to watch. One time I watched a documentary about invasive species narrated by Edward Norton, and it was awesome. I went on Amazon to figure out what that documentary was called ("Invaders") and then I learned that Edward Norton ran the Boston marathon with some Masaai guys to raise some development money. So that's a thing.
Notable mentions: American History X (1998), Down in the Valley (2005)
Is it possible that I just enjoyed Gladiator a lot? Very. Russell Crowe is also awesome in his own right. Remember when he kept getting in trouble for punching people? Haha - what a dick! Look at this picture: It's hilarious. Of course, ol' Russell's getting a bit older and not so gladiator-style fit. But I can still idolize a legendary character of the past (Maximus! Maximus!)
Notable Mentions: Gladiator, The Quick and the Dead (1995)
Like Edward Norton, Sam Rockwell is a character actor, which I like. He also sort of looks like Ed Norton but maybe just a little less attractive. I especially like Sam Rockwell because he has played dirty period characters on multiple occasions. I like actors who can own hideous and disgusting. You know, like the bad guy in The Green Mile, or the sidekick in The Assassination of Jesse James. Like the previous two actors, Sam Rockwell often plays a guy who takes a beating, and that's appealing to me for some reason.
Notable mentions: Matchstick Men (2003), Choke (2008), Moon (2009)
I know what you're thinking: Paris, you have access to the whole internet and this is the best picture of famous actor Ethan Hawke that you could find? He looks like a serial killer in this picture, but give me a break. I'm a graduate student. I always enjoy performances by this guy, who typically plays the pigeon- you know, sort of naive, well-intentioned, but in way over his head and maybe accidentally fallen on the wrong side of the moral line. He's in thinky-type movies, but not ones where you have to think too too hard because if Ethan Hawke is in there you know that he's the good guy. I don't want to see Ethan Hawke ever playing the bad guy, it would undermine my whole sense of reality, which is, of course, founded largely upon on my understanding of movies.
Notable mentions: Gattaca (1997), Daybreakers (2009), Before the Devil Knows You're Dead (2007), Great Expectations (1998)
I'm pretty sure that everyone has a crush on James Franco, but I haven't asked around enough to be sure. First of all, he's hilarious, which is awesome. Do you guys all remember that TV show Freaks and Geeks? Also featuring Seth Rogen? Okay - so many James Franco movies aren't so awesome (case in point: Spiderman, Tristan + Isolde), but he's very funny and super cute so he gets to be on the list. A lot of people these days are telling me that I've gotta go see 127 Hours, but I just don't really want to. You know? I know how it ends and, honest to God, I don't really want to have the visceral experience of watching it all unfold. Even if, in my brain, I'm thinking they probably handle that bit with a lot of cinematic class, but I'm empathetic. I don't want to hear any more about the guy being stuck in a crevice and having to saw his arm off. No thank you, my dears. I'll get my Franco fix on Funny or Die.
Notable mentions: Pineapple Express (2008)
This guy is awesome for all reasons. First, there's the rugged good looks of the 80s-90s. Don't tell me your heart doesn't skip a beat when Leia watches him going down into the carbonite! Han Solo, do you know that I love you, too? The next best reason is the scene where Indiana Jones is fighting that guy in The Last Crusade, and then the guy gets chopped up in the airplane blades. You see, I love watching my leading men get beaten up. I also like Harrison Ford a lot because he seems to hate appearing in public, and when he gives interviews for the movies he seems to be really displeased about the whole business. Just really not into talking with Conan or whoever. I respect that, Harrison Ford.
Notable mentions: Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Blade Runner, dammit, I've even seen Six Days, Seven Nights more than once!
There's that Sheryl Crowe song that goes, "Like Steve McQueen, all I need's a fast machine." I like that. I like Steve McQueen because of those scenes in the cooler, when he's playing with the baseball and taking to that little Irish fellow who cracks and gets all shot up. I also like him because he was the subject of a documentary I watched called "The Essence of Cool" and he totally is. He's got that whole grungy, confused, and, to be honest, sorta homely look going on, but he's working it, you dig? That's awesome. I guess he's known for his gritty action roles. I've never seen Bullit, but I'd like to. It's about a detective and it has this iconic car chase, I dunno. He's dead, though. He's the only dead one on my list.
Notable mentions: The Great Escape (1963), Baby the Rain Must Fall (1965), The Magnificent Seven (1960)