Oct 19: "I didn't mean to call you meatloaf, Jack"

An American Werewolf in London (1981)

dir. John Landis (Three Amigos!, 1986)

CAST
David Naughton
Jenny Agutter
Griffin Dunne (My Girl, 1991)
David Schofield (The Wolfman, 2010)
Rik Mayall (Drop Dead Fred, 1991)
Frank Oz (Star Wars Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (voice), 1980)
Alan Ford (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, 1998)
John Landis (Spiderman 2, 2004)

Oh, man! It's October and were are counting down the days until Halloween. Because it's relevant to a movie I've posted about on here, I think I'll post a picture of myself in costume. It's sort of in that trite theme of a "sexy" something, but hopefully you'll see that I've made it my own. Plus, you all know I wouldn't wear something truly indecent.

So! My first horror movie is a classic that I've been meaning to watch for a while, An American Werewolf in London. Let me tell you, it's not quite what I expected, but it was still some quality stuff.

It's about these two American guys who are backpacking across Europe, except they run afoul of a deadly beast. Jack gets killed, but David is far less lucky (drama!). The transformation scene is quite gruesome. but my favorite parts are when Jack returns to talk to David as a member of the cursed undead. Everytime appearing more and more decayed. Jack keeps pushing David to kill himself, because the victims of the wolf are trapped in Limbo until the wolf's bloodline is severed. Jack is joined by more and more of David's victims, but of course David can't quite bring himself to suicide, because he has someone to live for, Nurse Alex.

And so he runs amok in London. Including through the tubes, as in this particularly well shot scene:

you know I don't usually notice things like camerawork, I'm more about the stories. But this shot was so good I had to rewind a little to look again. You see the wolf just slightly creeping in from the top of the frame, and the victim has fallen down on the escalator and he's frozen in fear. It was very scary. But there are funny parts too, like when David wakes up in the zoo after his rampage:

In the 80s a little bit of public hair wasn't such a big deal. A few times you can sort of see what my little brother calls the tenders, but just quick. That would never happen in a modern movie. No winkies (this is why I don't have a boyfriend) at all, only breasts and butts. I remember the first time I saw a dude's tenders in a movie, it was What Alice Found (2003) which was playing on the Independent Film Channel. I was shocked! I didn't know that was allowed. The first time I saw lady-tenders in a movie was, I think, Animal House (1978, also John Landis), but I don't remember how old I was when I watched that (not old enough!). But in both of those movie the purpose of the nudity was blatantly sexual, and that's not the case here. That's my point: nudity doesn't have to be sexy.

I guess I won't spoil the ending but I will say that it's stark and abrupt. It seems like only modern movies feel that it's necessary to ease you out of the storyworld by letting you know that all the characters are going to be OK.

12 Oct - "What money I have is about eleven years old"

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil (1997)

dir. Clint Eastwood

CAST
John Cusack (Must Love Dogs, 2005)
Kevin Spacey (The Ref, 1994)
Irma P. Hall (Patch Adams, 1998)
Jude Law (Gattaca, 1997)
Paul Hipp (Face/Off, 1997)
Kim Hunter (Planet of the Apes, 1968)
Geoffrey Lewis (Maverick, 1994)
Leon Rippy (The Patriot, 2000)
Bob Gunton (Glory, 1989)
J. Patrick McCormack (Wag the Dog, 1997)
Rhoda Griffis (Road Trip, 2000)
Michael Rosenbaum (Sorority Boys, 2002)
Ted Manson (Elizabethtown, 2005)
Ann Cusack (A League of Their Own, 1992)
James Gandolfini (True Romance, 1993)

As a northern in the South, I empathize with John Cusak in this movie, because I feel like we're both working on uphill battles. The glory, of course, is that in the end the status quo hasn't changed a bit, because it never does here.

Everybody says exactly what they don't mean.

The movie is about a murder. Kevin Spacey's character, whose one of those elite Southern mansion types who walks around with Ugga, the UGA school mascot, shoots his young lover, played by Jude Law trying his best at a real low Southern accent. Over the course of the trial, Spacey's homosexuality is revealed, but the grand revelation, which should have ruptured the community, doesn't ruffle any feathers because everybody already knew he was gay, so they just shuffle side to side and bury their heads a little deeper in the sand.

They all know what they say they don't know.

Adding a little flavor to the mystery are the colorful side characters including my favorite, the Lady Chablis, a transvestite showgirl, and a voodoo priestess. All the glitz and distractions only remind you that Cusak isn't meant to solve the mystery, because in this place the party never stops and everyone just keeps smiling and smiling as the world around them crumbles. Savannah reminds me of decay and ruined lost cities like those in Mexico. One day tourists will be walking around those Southern mansions and wondering what kind of people lived in places like these.

The movie seems to jump mostly between various parties and courtroom scenes. Even as Cusak is trying to solve the mystery he has to respect social custom and play nice. Another difference between Northerners and Southerners: Northerners get about the business at hand while Southerners are always playing at niceties, but at least when a Northerner gets around to being nice you can be sure that it's genuine. I watched this movie a week ago so I'm not sure what else I wanted to talk about but I liked it. I think I might try to read the book.

27 August - "I didn't think people could dance around here. I thought they were all stiff."

Maria Full of Grace (2004)
dir. Joshua Marston


CAST
Catalina Sandino Moreno (Paris, Je T'Aime, 2006)
Monique Gabriela Curnen (Lady in the Water, 2006)

The last two movies I watched were both duds, so I decided to take a safe bet and picked a well-reviewed Spanish-language film; because I'm all about those. Unlike the last two movies - this was neither inane nor irritating.

The plot is that Maria, a seventeen year old living in rural Columbia, takes a job as a drug mule only to realize that the glamorous world of trafficking has a seedy underbelly.

The really compelling aspect is that Maria seems to be the only self-aware character in her world. Everyone else moves along with a status quo but Maria refuses to submit to normative behavior and she gets punished for it. When she accepts the mule job, it's partly because she needs the money and she's in a position of weakness, but mostly it's because she doesn't want to work on the flower plantation anymore. That's important, because it means that she's not a passive character - she isn't getting shunted around by the plot, she's making choices.

When the shit hits the fan one of the other girls dies because the drugs leaked into her belly and they cut her open to get the rest out. That's when Maria realizes that their bodies are valueless to the dealers and she steals the drugs and makes her friend Blanca run away with her. So really this is a story about self-actualization, wherein Maria struggles to achieve self-reliance against everyone who is trying to take away her autonomy. Her very body is turned into an object of transport but her goal is carry no one's burdens but her own.

20 July - "Ride till we find them, and kill them all"

The 13th Warrior (1999)

dir. John McTiernan (Die Hard, 1988)

CAST

Antonio Banderas (Desperado, 1995)

Tony Curran (Ondine, 2009)

Omar Sharif (10,000 B.C. (voice), 2008)

Erick Avari (Mr. Deeds, 2002)

Diane Venora (Heat, 1995)

I don't think I can emphasize enough how much I enjoyed watching this masterpiece. If you haven't seen this, and you have a healthy appreciation for the ludicrous - I recommend you hop to the task immediately.

Apparently the script is based upon a Michael Crichton book called Eaters of the Dead, which I never even heard of, and I love Michael Crichton! So obviously there's a trashy novel I need to read.

The premise is a treasure. First of all, Antonio is playing an Arab. Really? Did anyone really think this could be pulled off effectively? He doesn't even TRY to change his accent. No one is buying this:

On the other hand, I think we can all get behind this:

Yeah, brother, get medieval on those cannibals!

OK- so Antonio Banderas is an Arabian diplomat who, for unclear reasons, is sent to Europe to live with the brutish Northmen, who are like Vikings, I guess. You might say there's a little twist where the Europeans appear to be barbaric and gross while the Arab guy is clean and dignified, can read and write, and practices a monotheistic religion (I will say it again, but watching Antonio Banderas pretending to be Muslim is totally rich). The plot thickens when our beturbaned hero is sent with twelve Viking warriors to assist a neighboring kingdom with a dark enemy threatening their well being. It turns out these evil dudes live a lot like those cultists in Temple of Doom:

I've been sick with some god-awful derivation of a summer flu. So I haven't felt up to much besides watching movies and past seasons of Hell's Kitchen. So I'm like five movies behind on my blog entries, and I'm also trying to make a post on my 10 favorite actresses I just haven't quite figured out who they all are yet (there are some surprises in there). So stay tuned, few and far-between readers.

30 May - "We need cultural experts, not scientists"

Timeline (2003)
dir. Richard Donner - Conspiracy Theory (1997)

CAST
Paul Walker - She's All That (1999)

Gerard Butler - Nim's Island (2008)

Frances O'Connor - A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

Billy Connolly - The Boondock Saints (1999)

David Thewlis - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 (2010)

Anna Friel - A Midsummer Night's Dream (1999)

Matt Craven - Disturbia (2007)

Ethan Embry - Pizza (2005)

Michael Sheen - Blood Diamond (2006)

Neal McDonough - Tin Man (2007)
Stephanie Biddle - The Whole Nine Yards (2000)
Amy Sloan - A Diva's Christmas Carol (TV 2000)
Marton Csokas - The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

Timeline is based on a Michael Crichton novel, like Jurassic Park and Congo, but not like Outbreak. This is about a group of archaeologists who are sent back in time by a technology corporation that has been funding their research into medieval France. They have to go back to rescue their Professor, because he was accidentally left behind in a previous trip. So they are plopped down in the middle of the hundred years war the day before the big invasion, ruh roh!

What I like about this movie is the utter lack of concern for a technological explanation (A 3D fax machine and a wormhole, OK let's go!), even though that's what takes up the lion's share of any Crichton novel. I also recall that one of the big conflicts in the book was the language barrier. All the old-timey people were speaking Ye Olde Angle-ese and no one could understand what was going on, but they chose to streamline that conflict in the movie and all the English folks were as comprehensible as one of Darth Vader's generals. They didn't even blink an eye at the wonky accents of our Heroes ("We're Scottish!" Assures Gerard Butler in a sexy way)

So the good guys are the French and the English are uniformly evil. The saddest part is when Francois gets skewered by Lord Oliver because he can't hide his French accent, awww.

Conclusions: Fun! A adventure in a more esoteric time period, which keeps things unpredictable, although I would have preferred if the storyline had remained more neutral in picking favorites between historical figures (I'm sure the invading English had some redeeming qualities, The Tudors seemed to work it out, well enough.) I was also disenchanted by Paul Walker as the lead, he was far upstaged by Gerard Butler, who is a better actor (and that's saying a lot) and had a more interesting character. The romance between Chris and Kate was poorly developed and unnecessary to the plot, they should have eliminated Walker's character and allowed O'Connor to carry those scenes on her own, and stuck to the dual conflicts of rescuing the Professor and Lady Claire.

I still enjoyed it, though!

5 April- "But you did not persuade me, Nicolas! You did not persuade me!"

The Last King of Scotland (2006)

dir. Kevin Macdonald

CAST

Forest Whitaker (Fast Times at Ridgemont High, 1982)

James McAvoy (Atonement, 2007)

Kerry Washington (Fantastic Four, 2005)

Gillian Anderson (Princess Mononoke (voice: American version), 1997)

Simon McBurney (The Golden Compass, 2007)
David Oyelowo (The Help, 2011)

Holy shit! I watched a real movie with a REAL SERIOUS plotline that's BASED ON REAL LIFE and it's not a comedy, there's no science fiction OR fantasy OR animation at all.

It's been a while, gang. I guess the last one that counts for all that is Dirty Pretty Things, which I watched a whole month ago.

Why do we like movies about Africa? The first reason is the soundtracks, and I will call out shenanigans if you say different. The first reason is the soundtracks and so here is John William's "Dry Your Tears, Afrika" from the movie Amistad, you may play it while you enjoy the rest of my writing here.

The other reason, I'm pretty sure, it what one of my more advanced colleagues today called "Poverty Tourism" and that has to do with the catharsis we (and I apologize if I am incorrectly categorizing you with myself) get when we someone doing worse off than us. I think that analysis might be applicable to The Last King of Scotland, especially because while Forest Whitaker is on the DVD cover, the protagonist is young and pale James McAvoy who keeps us all grounded in this adventure of African politics.

I may watch this movie again someday and pay particular attention to the portrayal of the English in this movie. The filmmakers were quite right in remembering that you cannot talk about African politics without referring to the legacy of colonialism and reminding us how difficult it is, to paraphrase Audra Lourde, to use the master's tools to unmake the master's house. Those English guys are smarmy folks, we are introduced to Simon McBurney's character when he tells the protagonist that a firm hand is all the African understands. As Amin's true fearsome characters becomes gradually revealed, the English, however, quickly appear to be the lesser of two evils, but evil nonetheless. McAvoy goes to the Englishman Stone to ask for help fleeing Uganda, and Stone tells McAvoy that he has to murder the president, leading to a series of events culminating into the climax of the film.

So who's the real villian, is it Stone representing the patriarchal colonial powers meddling in affairs that shouldn't concern them, or is it President Amin, a soldier placed in a position of authority consolidating his authority through a regime of terror? Can one exist without the other?

I think what we are meant to understand is that Amin is very bad guy, unfortunately, he never had a chance, and if he had resisted the power and the corruption someone else would have taken that role anyway. I think what we are meant to understand is that these dictators are inventions of historical context and colonialism, no different from the invented countries and the invented tribes that they terrorize.

16 Feb - "Maybe it works with carrots"

Outsourced (2006)

dir. John Jeffcoat

starring

Josh Hamilton (Away We Go, 2009)

Ayesha Dharker (The Mistress of Spices, 2005)

So I guess they made this into a sitcom and, I dunno, I saw one episode and didn't think it was so funny, maybe you have to get into though, like The Office. Maybe there are Outsourced (TV series) fans out there?

This movie, on the other hand, is a delightful culture-shock comedy wherein snarky USA telephone salesman Todd has to train his Indian replacement...cue diarrhea joke! tack on a reference to the Kama Sutra! oh my gosh it's a movie about India.

Sorry I don't have more to add, but I just finished watching The Secret Garden (1993), and so that's the mood I'm in now.