11 July 2011

20 July - "Ride till we find them, and kill them all"

The 13th Warrior (1999)

dir. John McTiernan (Die Hard, 1988)

Antonio Banderas (Desperado, 1995)
Tony Curran (Ondine, 2009)
Omar Sharif (10,000 B.C. (voice), 2008)
Erick Avari (Mr. Deeds, 2002)
Diane Venora (Heat, 1995)

I don't think I can emphasize enough how much I enjoyed watching this masterpiece. If you haven't seen this, and you have a healthy appreciation for the ludicrous - I recommend you hop to the task immediately.

Apparently the script is based upon a Michael Crichton book called Eaters of the Dead, which I never even heard of, and I love Michael Crichton! So obviously there's a trashy novel I need to read.

The premise is a treasure. First of all, Antonio is playing an Arab. Really? Did anyone really think this could be pulled off effectively? He doesn't even TRY to change his accent. No one is buying this:
On the other hand, I think we can all get behind this:
Yeah, brother, get medieval on those cannibals!

OK- so Antonio Banderas is an Arabian diplomat who, for unclear reasons, is sent to Europe to live with the brutish Northmen, who are like Vikings, I guess. You might say there's a little twist where the Europeans appear to be barbaric and gross while the Arab guy is clean and dignified, can read and write, and practices a monotheistic religion (I will say it again, but watching Antonio Banderas pretending to be Muslim is totally rich). The plot thickens when our beturbaned hero is sent with twelve Viking warriors to assist a neighboring kingdom with a dark enemy threatening their well being. It turns out these evil dudes live a lot like those cultists in Temple of Doom:
I've been sick with some god-awful derivation of a summer flu. So I haven't felt up to much besides watching movies and past seasons of Hell's Kitchen. So I'm like five movies behind on my blog entries, and I'm also trying to make a post on my 10 favorite actresses I just haven't quite figured out who they all are yet (there are some surprises in there). So stay tuned, few and far-between readers.

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