24 Dec - "When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone"

Home Alone (1990)

dir. Chris Columbus (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, 2001)

CAST
Mark Beltzman (Employee of the Month, 2004)
John Candy (Canadian Bacon, 1995)
Kieran Culkin (The Cider House Rules, 1999)
Macaulay Culkin (Saved!, 2004)
Hope Davis (The Matador, 2005)
Matt Doherty (Ghost World, 2001)
Bill Erwin (The Land Before Time (voice), 1988)
Angela Goethals (Spanglish, 2004)
Larry Hankin (Vegas Vacation, 1997)
John Heard (Desert Blue, 1998)
Sandra Macat (Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, 1992)
Michael C. Maronna (Slackers, 2002)
Catherine O'Hara (Where the Wild Things Are (voice), 2009)
Jim Ortlieb (A Mighty Wind, 2003)
Joe Pesci (8 Heads in a Duffel Bag, 1997)
Peter Siragusa (Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (voice), 2009)
Daniel Stern (City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly's Gold, 1994)
Ray Toler (A League of Their Own, 1992)
Alan Wilder (A League of Their Own, 1992)

Believe it or not, this was the first time I saw Home Alone: original flavor. I was surprised that I liked Lost in New York slightly better, but that did not detract from the pleasantness of this Christmas classic. Something about the extraordinary amount of punishment these two crooks can endure without permanent injury is amazing to me, and thoroughly enjoyable. I guess I haven't seen enough slapstick in children's comedies.

I also liked the counter-narrative of Kevin's mother, which isn't as strong in the sequel. The irony is that in her desire to return home as quickly as possible, she has to resort to a variety of planes, trains & automobiles (helped out by good Samaritan John Candy, of course!) but in the end she only arrives moments before the rest of the family, who waited in France a few days before catching the next available flight home. But the important thing is that she worked for it, right? Sometimes when I'm caught in traffic I'll take a much longer alternative route, even though I'm not certain if I'm actually saving time. The illusion of movement gives purpose to the journey.

14 Dec - "I was just hoping for more of an old-fashioned Christmas"

A Christmas Kiss (TV 2011)

dir. John Stimson


CAST
Elisabeth Rohm (Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous, 2005)
Brendan Fehr (Final Destination, 2000)

I missed the first few minutes of this Christmas TV movie, and from what I gathered from the subsequent dialogue, they were the most important part of the movie. You see, Wendy is an aspiring interior decorator working with the bitchy socialite Priscilla Hall (as in, 'deck the...' Sometime during the beginning of the movie, Wendy kisses a strange man in the elevator for some reason, but UH OH! It's actually Priscilla's fiance (but he doesn't recognize Wendy later?), but she doesn't really love him, she just thinks they are a good match in social status, and also SHE HATES CHRISTMAS!!!

Because Wendy is in charge of designing the Christmas party at Adam's house, she spends an awful lot of time there with him alone, and eventually they bond over their mutual love of Christmas and holiday spirit. Unfortunately, Adam is the thickest male love interest ever, and he takes forever to figure out that Priscilla had nothing to do with the design plans for the Christmas party, and basically just does whatever she says. Wendy is a worse protagonist than Fanny from Mansfield Park , all she does is whine about how scared she is of losing her job with Priscilla and how she's too scared to tell Adam that she's the one he kissed in the elevator and it's so obvious that they're meant to be together. Ultimately, she takes no assertive action to secure her own happy ending.

29 Nov - "Save it for the suckers"

A Diva's Christmas Carol (TV 2000)

dir. Richard Schenkman

CAST
Vanessa Williams
Rozonda Thomas (Snow Day, 2000)
Brian McNamara (Short Circuit, 1986)
Kathy Griffin (Pulp Fiction, 1994)
Stephanie Biddle (Timeline, 2003)
Richard Jutras (The Whole Nine Yards, 2000)
Amy Sloan (The Day After Tomorrow, 2004)

I love a good Dickens adaptation, and while this was far from that, it was at least a little more fun than On Strike for Christmas. The storyline is familiar, derivative, in fact, so much so that it feels like the writers simply watched a bunch of other Christmas Carol movies instead of reading the book before they had at it. One detail that I sort of liked was that instead of a Ghost of Christmas Future (too scary!), the Diva watched an E! True Hollywood Story about her life and death. The Ghost of Christmas Present was at least symbolically accurate, because that guy's supposed to be a real hedonist, but Kathy Griffin as the Ghost of Christmas Past was way off the mark and didn't bring in anything except a bunch of stupid Kathy Griffin-style jokes. There was way too much screen time wasted here.

29 Nov - "cookies and wine"

On Strike for Christmas (TV 2010)

dir. Robert Iscove (Cinderlla, TV 1997)

CAST
Daphne Zuniga (Spaceballs, 1987)
David Sutcliffe (Half Baked, 1998)
Chelah Horsdal (X-Men: The Last Stand, 2006)
Julia Duffy (Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd, 2003)

Onward with the Christmas specials! On Strike for Christmas is about a housewife who gets sick of all the demanding holiday chores (including throwing separate parties for her husband's office and her son's friends) and goes on strike because boys just don't understand holiday cheer. The moral of the story is that when you're feeling overworked, it's totally okay to call a catering and send e-cards instead of paper cards. The other moral is that it's not a good idea to shape your entire identity contingent on your ability to perform as an ideal homemaker at Christmastime.

Dec 13 - "Are you glad to see me, or is that a shotgun in your pocket?"

Scrooged (1988)

dir. Richard Donner (The Goonies, 1985)

CAST
Bill Murray (City of Ember, 2008)
Karen Allen (Raiders of the Lost Ark, 1981)
Carol Kane (Jawbreaker, 1999)
Robert Mitchum (Out of the Past, 1947)
Sachi Parker (Back to the Future, 1985)

On the list of underrated Christmas movies, Scrooged tops the chart. Of course, everything Bill Murray is in (besides Garfield) is worth watching several times over, he probably has other Christmas movies that I can't even remember right now. This one is about a dickish guy who gets visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve and subsequently decides to change the way he lives his life, who can't get behind that? My favorite ghost was always the Ghost of Christmas Present, and Carol Kane plays that one very well. She's funny and she hits Bill Murray a lot. I presume you all know about A Christmas Carol, so I don't think i need to go into any great detail. It's December, so everyone needs to be watching Christmas movies. Try this one.

Nov 26 - "Jesse didn't ask for his mom to get a boyfriend"

All I Want for Christmas (2007)

dir. Harvey Frost

CAST

Gail O'Grady (Deuce Bigelow, Male Gigilo, 1999)
Greg Germann (So I Married an Axe Murderer, 1993)
Robert Mailhouse
Jimmy Pinchak
Saige Ryan Campbell (I Heart Huckabees, 2004)

I watched this Hallmark channel Christmas movie while at my Dad's house the day after Thanksgiving (that's today, BTW). Widowed mother Sarah is a workaholic (at the community center/ soup kitchen which she runs). Her son, Jesse, spends all his time with the conventionally attractive male neighbor. The ending is patently obvious within the first few scenes. Jesse sends a video to a toy company's make a wish come true contest, asking for a husband for his mom. I know! I saw Sleepless in Seattle too, a much better Christmas movie.

But here's what I don't get, the kid sends in the video to the contest, but as soon as his mom meets a passable, wealthy, guy, he gets all pissed off and mean. But it's okay because we're supposed to be rooting for the neighbor who writes novels, I guess. Anyway, I was only half watching it. So maybe there's a better reason.

Honestly, Hallmark churns out these Christmas movies so fast. It seems like there's a couple guys in a conference room somewhere just writing down premises. "How about Santa gets amnesia?" "An elf looking for romance wins the lottery!" "Divorced parents get back together...on Christmas!"

Anyway, is Christmas supposed to be a romantic holiday?? (Sleepless in Seattle; Love, Actually; The Holiday; Serendipity) Has there ever been a romance movie about Thanksgiving? (Home for the Holidays, 1995) Other holidays??